Forgive Me
by MissA79
Summary: A one shot song-fic to 'Your House' by Alanis Morissette.


_**So this is just a one shot- but I did write another story with a different song. If you guys like this maybe I'll post it. I've been sick in bed for three days so I've had tons of time on my hands. It's Alanis Morissette's 'Your House'. I love the song, and it gave me some writing inspiration. Let me know what you think.**_

_**I went to your house**_

_**Walked up the stairs**_

_**I opened your door without ringing the bell**_

Klaus and Rebeka were dead, the ghosts that were taking up residence in the town were gone, and the only ghost that was still here was Anna, she still had some purpose with Jeremy. Caroline was helping Tyler regain full control of his actions, and he was adjusting to life as a hybrid. Bonnie was trying to cope with the fact that Jeremy still loved Anna. Ric was doing quite well at this whole family thing, he was working with the council, and being a teacher slash vampire hunter. And me? I had Stefan back.

Damon had locked him up in the basement and we finally got him back on track, with the help of Katherine of course. I didn't want her around but there was no way Damon could have done it alone.

Everything was going good, and the price I had to pay for having the Stefan I first met back was becomming unbareable. It was something that I didn't think would impact my life as much as it had.

That price was Damon.

_"Damon, I can't. Stefan needs me."_

_"I need you."_

_"I know, but right now he needs me more."_

_"So your going to just forget?"_

_"Damon, you asked me to remember everything I felt once you gave me Stefan back, and I do. I remember every single thing, every single minute I spent with you, every touch, every word. But right now it's not enough."_

_"You mean I'm not enough."_

_"No, I mean that Stefan's life depends on me giving him some normalcy, and I need to give that to him. I still love him, Damon."_

_"And me?"_

_"Loving Stefan doesn't change the fact that I love you too."_

_"No, but it changes things."_

_"Give it time."_

_"No. I gave Katherine too much time. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."_

_"What are you saying Damon?" It felt like my lungs were closing. I was having a hard time remembering to breathe. The tears were running down my face. I knew excatally what he was saying._

_"If you go back to Stefan, I'm done."_

_"Damon-"_

_"Please save it. I don't want to hear anymore." He slams his cup down and leaves me standing there, heartbroken._

_**I walked down the hall**_

_**Into your room**_

_**Where I could smell you**_

_**And I shouldn't be here, without permission**_

_**I shouldn't be here**_

No, I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't stay away.

Stefan was with Caroline helping Tyler, this was when I got the only alone time with my memories of Damon, and I came here when ever I knew I could be.

I walked around the room, taking in everything. The smell of him evident throughout the whole room. I sit on the chair by the fire place, and pick up the photo on the stand next to it. The frame simply says 'memories'. It was a photo of Damon and I from my birthday. I remember it as if it were yeterday. I was wondering around, making small talk when he pulled me to him to dance. We were the only two slow dancing, and Caroline being Caroline took a picture of us. Right at the perfect moment. I was looking at him smiling, just glad he was there, and he was looking at me like he was...happy. We both had genuine smiles on our faces, most likely the only time that night. I had given him a copy of it to match the one I had on my dresser. I was sure he would put it away somewhere, but he didn't. He set it out proudly. It was the only photo Damon had anywhere. I set it back down, wipe the tears away, and make my way to his bed. I lay back on it and remember all the good moments we had in this room, this house.

_'I can't lose you.' _

_'I will always chose you.' _

_'I love you'. _

_'I promise you. I will never leave you again.'_

It was always about me, everything Damon had done had been for me, and I threw it back at him as if it were nothing. I had given up everything I felt for him in order to not be like Katherine.

But I wasn't Katherine. I knew who I wanted, who I would choose.

It was Damon, my heart now belonged to Damon, but I couldn't fully give it to him.

I couldn't hurt Stefan not then, not after what he had been through, so I lied.

_"Choose, Elena."_

_"Damon, I never wanted to hurt anyone."_

_"Just say it."_

_"Stefan."_

_"Of course it's him. Why should I have expected anything different?"_

_"You need to let me explain."_

_"I don't want your explanations. I just want you to leave me alone. Your safe, everyone is. Don't come to me anymore for anything. There is no need to talk to me."_

_"You don't mean that." He was just trying to hurt me, wasn't he?_

_"Yes I do." He was serious. Maybe I had just pushed him too far._

_**Would you forgive me love**_

_**If I danced in your shower**_

_**Would you forgive me love**_

_**If I laid in your bed**_

_**Would you forgive me love**_

_**If I stay all afternoon**_

I really had pushed him too far. Everyone had a breaking point, and I pushed him towards his.

I had spent so much time with Damon while Stefan was gone. He helped me cook, he saved me from various situations, he took care of me when I got hurt. He would talk to me, tell me things that I knew he never told anyone.

When I would have a bad day somehow he just knew. He would either wait for me here or come over to my place. Damon would cook, or bring a movie, any way to distract me unitll I was ready to talk, and then when I was he would listen. Damon never judged. Then afterwards he would drop some stupid comments, and then tell me excataly what he thought of the situation. He never tried to spare my feelings and I loved that fact.

Some nights I'd find myself at the boarding house unable to sleep. I'd make my way into Damon's room and he would make a sugestive remark, and throw the covers back. I never got tired of that eye thing he did.

_"Did anyone ever tell you how pretty your eyes are?"_

_"All the time, Elena. Did you forget who your talking about?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and gave me his signature smirk._

_"Can you not be egotistical for like five minutes?"_

_"Nope."_

_"Of course not. What was I thinking?" I tried to roll over but he pulled me back to face him._

_"Come on Elena, I was joking. Thank you."_

_"I guess your welcome."_

_"Did anyone ever tell you how pretty your eyes are?" He retorted quickly._

_"They are brown, it's a common color."_

_"Maybe, but on you, when I look into your eyes, they mesmorize me. They are beautiful in a different way, unique, like you."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah, and if you even think of telling anyone they won't belive you, so don't bother."_

_"I meant it as, you really think that?"_

_"Yes. I do." He sounded sincere enough, so I pressed on._

_"Can I tell you something since we are making little confessions?"_

_"Go on."_

_"When I look in your eyes, I can see everything about you."_

_"That's kind of cheesy." He laughed, and what a perfect laugh it was. I barely heard it, but when I did it gave me satisfaction that he was comfortable enough to be his whole self in front of me._

_"I'm trying to be serious."_

_"Continue then."_

_"Your eyes say everything about you, Damon, they speak what you don't say. I can read everything your feeling through them."_

_"I guess that makes us quite a pair."_

_"We are a pair, you and I, Damon Salvatore."_

_"Yeah, we have a weird eye bond." _

_"It's more than that."_

_"I know."_

_**I took off my clothes**_

_**Put on your robe**_

_**I went through your drawers**_

_**And found your cologne**_

I pulled my shirt over my head, and pulled one of Damon's black t-shirts on. It smelled just like him. I slipped off my jeans and layed back onto the bed. I pulled his pillow to me, taking in as much of him as I could.

I wore the same shirt everytime I came. I swear he left it hanging on the door just for me.

_"Another bad day? Can't sleep?"_

_"No." I climb into bed and curl up next to him. His arm automatically envelops me._

_"Then what's up? That's the only time you end up in my bed."_

_"Is it?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Hmm. Well I'm here tonight for completely unrelated reasons to any of your suggestions."_

_"Okay, I'll play. Then why are you here?"_

_"Because I want you to hold me."_

_"Oh." He says, and I know he wasn't expecting me to say that._

_"I miss you when your not there Damon."_

_"Who wouldn't?"_

_"I'm serious."_

_"I know."_

_"Why do you have to ruin the moment." I question, looking up at him._

_"I'm trying not to read into anything."_

_"That's a first . Why?"_

_"Because one day Stefan will come back, and you won't come to me anymore." I reach for his face and turn it to mine. I needed him to see into my eyes, I needed him to believe what I was saying._

_"I will always need you Damon, with or without Stefan here, I always have."_

_"And with or without Stefan here, my feelings for you are still the same."_

_"With or without Stefan, my feelings for you are real, Damon, you should know that."_

_"I do now."_

_"Good."_

_**Went down to the den**_

_**Found your CD's**_

_**And I played your Joni**_

_**And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon**_

_**I shouldn't stay long**_

I knew I would have to leave soon, but I had to dance to this song one more time. Hearing it I remembered the last time we talked, while I was spending the day alone here, dancing Damon had come home early. That was weeks ago. Yet it feels like yesterday.

_"Hello, Elena."_

_"What are you doing here Damon?" I froze, spinning around to face him._

_"I live here."_

_"I didn't think anyone was going to be home all day."_

_"You thought wrong." He says coldly and pours himself a drink._

_"I should go." I grab my bag from the couch and turn to leave._

_"Might want to put your own clothes on." _

_"Uhh...right. Sorry. I umm-" I had completely forgot I was still wearing his shirt._

_"Don't lie to me, Elena, it's the least you could do is answer a few questions I have."_

_"Fine. What questions Damon?" It was the least I could do. I set my bag down again, and face him._

_"Why?"_

_"Why what?"_

_"Why do you come here when Stefan is gone, when we all are?"_

_"Alone time." That was partly true._

_"Why are you wearing my shirt?"_

_"I-"_

_"Before you say anything, save the bullshit. Tell me the truth, remember I know when your lying."_

_"I do come here to be alone. Alone to feel what I feel for you. I put on your damn shirt to feel you, I lay in your bed, shower in your shower to remember. To be close to you."_

_"Does Stefan know?"_

_"No."_

_"Do you think I haven't noticed you've been in my room? I smell you all over it for days after."_

_"You do?"_

_"I'd recgonize it anywhere, but make no mistake, Stefan does too."_

_"I know Stefan knows the way I smell."_

_"No, I mean he can smell me all over you." _

_"I didn't think..."_

_"Maybe you don't care." He walks closer to me, and I feel my heartbeat faster._

_"Maybe I don't." _

_"You made the wrong choice, Elena." He tucks my hair behind my ears, and his fingers brush down my cheeks. God I missed his touch._

_"No."_

_"How can you still say that?"_

_"Let me finish. You never let me explain a few months ago, let me now. Please, Damon. I'm just asking for five minutes."_

_"Three."_

_"Stefan was never my real choice, my first choice. I had to help him, I had to be there for him. I had to put us aside, but you wouldn't give me a chance to tell you that there was no choice. My heart is yours." I see into his eyes that he's torn. He was still angry, and he had every right to be._

_"Yet your still with Stefan."_

_"He needs me Damon."_

_"I'm so tired of hearing you say that."_

_"So am I."_

_"You made a decision and now you have to fix it or live with it."_

_"I know."_

_"You should change. Katherine and Stefan will be back from the blood bank soon. Go ready for Stefan."_

_"And you'll go back to Katherine." I retort._

_"Jealousy doesn't suit you, Elena."_

_**Would you forgive me love**_

_**If I danced in your shower**_

_**Would you forgive me love**_

_**If I laid in your bed**_

_**Would you forgive me love**_

_**If I stay all afternoon**_

I knew Damon would be able to smell my scent all over his room, and I didn't care, he didn't seem to either. It seemed to be the only way we could be together. If Stefan did notice, which a part of me knew he did, he never said anything. Maybe he understood that I missed Damon. We were no longer on real speaking terms. We didn't have a friendship anymore.

I never wanted to hurt Stefan, but I was hurting Damon.

I was looking at Stefan, and wishing he was Damon.

Nothing was the same after Stefan came back. The love I had for Damon never went away, in fact it overpowered the love I felt for Stefan.

_"What happened with you and Damon?"_

_"What do you mean?" I set down my book, and give him my full attention. I was free to talk about Damon out loud right now._

_"You guys act like you hate each other."_

_"We always have, remember Stefan?" I try to sound as calm as possible._

_"No, sometimes you did, but Damon loved you, and now he's all over Katherine. I don't get it."_

_"Me either." My voice sounds more broken than I intend._

_"You want to talk about it?"_

_"No."_

_"Look Elena, I was under complusion but I still remember what I saw. You clearly have feelings for him, and I'm pretty sure he still loves you."_

_"You think he does?" I see Stefan's face, and I know he heard the hope I was feeling._

_"I know he does, do you love him?" I was afraid of what my answer might do to him. He was doing good, but I was afraid to set it all back with myy truth._

_"Look Stefan, I have feelings for Damon, but I'm with you, okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_**I burned your incense**_

_**I ran a bath**_

_**I noticed a letter that sat on your desk**_

_**It said **_

_**"Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"**_

_**And no, it wasn't my writing**_

_**I'd better go soon**_

_**It wasn't my writing**_

I only had about an hour before Stefan would be home. I put my clothes back on and made my way towards the door. I was taking in everything about the room, who knew when I'd get another day here alone to do this. I see the note on his desk.

_Damon, _

_Your better than I remember. Maybe you can make me forget about Stefan. See you tonight._

_Katherine_

I tried to tell myself that at least he was only sleeping with Katherine. He could be out killing innocent people.

He needed a distraction, that's all the Katherine was, right?

He had loved her once upon a time. He loved her for a very long time, he had done everything he could to get her back.

I knew Damon, he didn't forgive easily. He was only using her. I keep trying to tell myself that. Maybe it wasn't true. Maybe he was just trying to move on. With her of all people who knows why. It could be because she wanted him, and she was giving him her full attention, and none to Stefan or anyone else. I found it odd, but maybe he didn't.

Katherine's words are the ones that bother me. First it was _'It's okay to love them both, I did.'_, and now she was saying that maybe Damon could make her forget about Stefan.

My heart started pounding in my chest. Could she really love Damon again, and would he love her back?

No. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

But maybe, just maybe, he could, he would.

That realization was too much for me to handle. I thought it had just been about sex. What if it wasn't?

I couldn't bare the thought of him loving anyone the way he loved me. So feircely, so strongly, so passionately.

My head was spinning, and I was sobbing. I didn't care. I did this. I pushed Damon, and now maybe he was letting me go.

_**So forgive me love**_

_**If I cry in your shower**_

_**So forgive me love**_

_**For the salt in your bed**_

_**So forgive me love**_

_**If I cry all afternoon**_

I wash my face off, apply fresh make-up, and make my way to Stefan's room. I see a note on his desk for me. What was up with all the notes today?

_Elena,_

_I won't be gone long, but I hope you'll stay. I think we need to talk. It's past time, don't you think?_

_Stefan_

He knew. I just knew he knew. I could feel it.

So yes, we did need to talk. I had to make this right. I had to tell Stefan he wasn't the choice I wanted to make, he was the choice I felt like I had to make. I loved him, but not the way I loved Damon.

And I had to pray that Damon would forgive me, that I hadn't used up all of my chances with him. Because the truth was he was my only chance at true happiness. He loved me faults and all, the same way I loved him.


End file.
